The Celtic Joke Blog is doing pretty well. I got another ton of jokes from you for everyone to enjoy. If you have one, send it in and it will get posted and sent out to over 3000 other people, with your smiling face on it of course haha.

I found this when I was looking for a Braveheart clip. These guys are nuts

We just have to do something about our Scottish charateristic of being "thrifty", but until then we'll just have to laugh at ourselves

 Androse

A Scotsman drops a penny
He bends over to grab it
and it hits him in the back of the head

My father is so frugal
he can pinch a penny so hard
Abe Lincoln screams

You know how copper wire was invented don't you?
Two Scots fighting over a penny

I'm just full of them lately... well full of something.
Enjoy, and feel free to spread them out.

A Scot walks into a bar...
He was too drunk to find the door.

 Uther A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently.
Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'...perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee cuddle."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds.
Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg."
The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the lock before the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
The young man glanced down with a furled brow. "Well,noo," he said, "my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time."
"Really?" said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said the lad, nodding.
The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.
Then he said, "Dae ye nae think it's aboot time ye paid me the first
three pennies?"

 The Tea Geek Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One guy said he was going to piss him off. He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a sissy."
"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that." Puzzled the English man walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a sissy and he didn't care!" "You just don't know how to set him off, watch and learn."The second English man walked over and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder. "I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite!" "Oh, wow, I didn't know that, thank you." Shocked beyond belief, the English man went back to his buddies. "You're right, he is unshakable!" The third English man said, "No, no, no, I will really piss him off, you just watch." The English man walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and aid, "I hear your St. Patrick was an English man!" "Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me."

And for the picking on England section

There once was an Englishman who was telling off a Scotsman. At one point, he told the Scot, "Take away your friendliness, your mountains, your glens, and your lochs, and what have you got left?" "England," replied the Scot.

 Paula I have a Scottish joke for you for its quite prejudice but i laughed till I cried when I first heard it, if I offend you, sorry hahaha...

A young english boy celebrating his 13th birthday is told by his parents he can have anything he wants for his birthday.

The boy asks to go to the sports store for clothes, while looking around for 40 mins the boy eventually tell his parents he wants a Scotland shirt.

His parents are absolutely disgusted, his father slaps him around the head and says "a proud english lad like you wanting a Scotland top - its disgraceful, what about your own country" His mother butts in with "How can you shame us like this lad? get in the car we're going home"

In the car on the way home the father is evil eyeing his son in the rear view mirror and is mad, he then say's angrily to his lad "Well did you learn anything today son?" to which his son replies "Yes dad, ive only been a Scotland fan for an hour and already I hate you english b*stards"


That took me ages to type out, my index fingers are aching now ;) sorry if ive offended anyone, i dont mean to, its just a funny joke (to me anyway)

It's hard to have a joke that doesn't offend someone. But if it has to offend anyone it might as well be the English eh?

I can take this joke from a beautiful woman. It doesn't seem to be quite as funny when a man tells it to me.

 NORI What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepherd?
***wait for it***
***waiiiiiiiiit fooooor iiiittt***

the Rolling Stones say "Hey! You! Get offa my cloud!"

the Scottish shepherd says "HEY! McLeod!! Get offa my EWE!!"

 Bartholomew whats the difference between a Scot and the rolling stones? The rolling stones sing hey you get off of my cloud and the scots say hey Macleod get off of my ewe.

See what I mean?  haha

And some more of Adam's pipe beating hehe
 Adam the ..
Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.
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Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.
-----------------------------------------------------
Q. What's the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe?
A. You can tune the lawn mower.
OR
The owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawn mower and don't return it.

Please don't tell me these jokes blow ok?

Have a great week everyone!